137 women are killed by a partner or family member every day. It's time to talk about male violence.
Every day, 137 women in the world are killed by a partner or family member. This is the average number according to new data released by the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime (UNODC). The actual figure, however, is probably a lot higher, because in many areas of the world no on femicides go unrecorded. There are women who will die without so much as a mark to count them. The least safe place to be? Not out late at night, or wandering alone through backstreets, but in their own homes. The one place they are meant to feel protected.
It’s easy when we look at shocking worldwide figures like this to assume developing nations in South America, Africa and Asia are skewing the average upwards. Or else blame places like the Middle East, where there are countless deliberately restrictive laws on women designed to rob them of independence and keep them under the control of a male family member.
But the truth about gender-based violence in a predominantly patriarchal world is that it doesn’t stop at a border. Its prevalence isn’t determined by race or creed or politics or legislation. There is one thing each one of these deaths have in common, and unless we have the courage to get over the collective guilt and start calling it what it is, it will continue to cost innocent lives. And that is male violence.
Why is it important we call it ‘male violence’ and not just ‘violence against women’? Put simply, without identifying the key cause of this pandemic issue, we can’t fix it.
The tendency is for men to turn away from the debate and see it as a women’s problem – one resigned to the lifestyle pages of newspapers they dare not flick through.
“’I’ve never hit a woman, so why should this concern me? Why should I be tarred with the same brush?” is the question often posed in response to the use of the phrase “male violence”. It shouldn’t be a huge leap of the imagination for many to understand that we live in a world that almost always sets men at the head of the table. A world which prescribes to a code of gendered behaviours that sees men assert their dominance and superiority over women, maintaining an illusion of strength and control that is used to legitimise their violence.
The other query campaigners often find themselves answering is “but what about the men”? While it is true that some men do become the victims of domestic violence, they are small in number compared to women. According to the UN study, they make up 36 per cent of deaths at the hands of an intimate partner or family member, compared to the 64 per cent that are women.
What’s more, these statistics are skewed in that they often don’t take into account the gender of the perpetrator – or the reason given by the perpetrator for the violence. Often, men who die at home will do so at the hands of a male family member. Reasons cited by the BBC 100 Women campaign for male killings of female partners often centred around jealousy, abandonment and a loss of control, whereas female perpetrators cited prolonged suffering and violent abuse.
Interestingly, though, the UN indicates that men accounted for eight out of 10 homicide victims worldwide. That means men are four times more likely to lose their lives through murder than women. The overwhelming perpetrators of these crimes? Men.
So I won’t be entertaining this “not all men” argument anymore. Without being able to recognise the part less inclusive forms of masculinity plays in our world – no matter how strong the laws and legislation around domestic violence in individual countries are – male and female lives will continue to be lost.
Levelling out the playing field by enhancing the education of women and girls in developing countries, equalising pay and employment opportunities and putting more women in visible positions of power is the best chance we have of eliminating this disease. And let’s not forget, making it commonplace for men to show vulnerability too.
If we accept the truth about male violence, we can prevent thousands more women becoming sad statistics.