Medicine and misery: the pursuit of perfect health

Every day, you’re likely inundated with a relentless blizzard of social media posts, videos and articles which promise to let you in on the secrets of perfect health and happiness. Whether it’s a new supplement, the latest lifestyle change or a miracle diet, the message is clear: follow this formula to feel better, and maybe even perfect ?

Of course, healthy habits can significantly improve well-being, and there’s no shortage of reliable advice from informed sources. There’s also great value in the shared experiences and wisdom of others, especially now that we can easily connect and exchange health tips online. But amidst all this information, it’s worth asking: is the relentless pursuit of “perfect health” actually making you miserable?

The dream of flawless physical and mental health is increasingly held up as something you can, and should, aspire to as long as you try hard enough, follow the advice of health experts or buy into the latest fad. In reality, this is often unrealistic and, at times, unhealthy in itself.

Constantly striving for perfection can lead to people developing excessively high standards for their own wellbeing. Minor symptoms or signs of aging, once considered part of life, have become flaws to eliminate. Might people lose the ability to tolerate discomfort, meaning that even ordinary ailments can begin to feel unacceptable.

Many people live with chronic health problems, and, of course, some are able to manage these better than others. People’s reaction to discomfort varies; what one person finds intolerable may be something another person can ignore. I’ve had clients deeply distressed by tinnitus, while others are able to live with it without much trouble. In fact, most people over the age of 40 will experience clinical diagnoses and related symptoms that they eventually learn to live with.

It seems plausible that the ubiquitous promotion of perfect health is eroding our collective tolerance for chronic conditions. Many people, for example, live with chronic back pain, mental health conditions or illnesses like diabetes, finding ways to manage them as part of their lives. On the other hand, some individuals suffer from health anxiety, where they fixate on imagined health problems despite having none. This paradox suggests that those who enjoy perfect health aren’t always happier, and those who live with health challenges aren’t necessarily unhappy.

There’s no doubt we’d all prefer not to have health problems, and it’s wonderful when we can eliminate them. But how realistic is this goal?

This brings us to an important question: is the relentless pursuit of perfect health compromising your true well-being, emotional resilience, and mental health?

The Reality of Aging and Health

As you age, it’s normal to experience physical changes such as aches, pains, fatigue, and other symptoms. These are part of the human experience. In these moments, the pursuit of perfect health can feel like a never-ending battle.

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a modern psychological approach, encourages everyone to engage with and acknowledge their health as it is, rather than constantly trying to “fix” it. Whilst this doesn’t mean giving up on self care or personal growth, it does suggest shifting focus from eliminating symptoms to managing them in a way that enhances quality of life.

Reframing the Goal of Health

Adopting this mindset can help you foster a more compassionate relationship with your body.

Perhaps it’s time to rethink what “healthy” really means. Instead of striving for flawless wellness, you could aim for a version of health that’s realistic and sustainable, one that allows for imperfection, adaptation, and acceptance.

A healthier mindset might include:

• Recognizing that discomfort is a natural part of life and not always a crisis.
• Accepting that symptoms will arise, especially as you age, and learning how to live well with them.
• Letting go of black-and-white thinking, where you’re either “well” or “unwell”, and being comfortable with what’s in-between.

By reframing your approach to health, you may find more peace and satisfaction, even when your body isn’t cooperating.

The Pitfalls of Perfectionism in Health

Striving to be healthier is not the problem in itself; it’s the pursuit of perfectionism surrounding it that can be harmful. When you allow for flexibility, compassion, and realistic expectations, we create space not only for better health but for a richer, more meaningful life.

Consider that true wellbeing may not lie in eliminating every symptom or flaw as much as learning how to live with them.

Dr Vanessa Pilkington is a consultant psychologist in London.

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