The divorce of Bill and Melinda Gates need not be the end of their story
Sept 2018: Bill and Melinda Gates (PA Images)
Divorce is one of the saddest words in the English language. Alas, it is also one of the most common. The announcement this week that Bill and Melinda Gates are to divorce will have saddened many but surprised few. Not only do more than half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce, but the rate seems to rise along with wealth. It is a rare tycoon in America who has only been married once.
The Gates family seemed to be an exception. Though Melinda had been an employee at Microsoft, it was very much a marriage of equals, as the joint name of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation implies. Nor did they rush into a glitzy wedding: the couple dated for seven years before marrying privately in Hawaii in 1994. So eager were they to avoid paparazzi that they reputedly hired all the helicopters on the island to stop anybody spying on their nuptials. They had always seemed perfectly compatible: hardworking, unpretentious and serious about their philanthropy. It was entirely in character that they reportedly agreed on a division of assets before making the announcement. Even so, each spouse has hired the most expensive lawyers in America to finalise the settlement. What could possibly go wrong?
The rest of the world may speculate, more or less pruriently, about the reasons why they decided not to grow old together. Given that the majority of divorces are initiated by the wife, many will assume that another woman is involved: cherchez la femme is a game that certain sections of the media can’t help but play. The truth, however, is probably more prosaic. Couples whose children have grown up and left home often need to find new reasons to stay together. Bill and Melinda had, and by all accounts still do have, an excellent working relationship. But that is very different from a marital one.
While the reasons for the “irretrievable breakdown” of their marriage are nobody’s business but theirs, the world has a legitimate interest in the Gates Foundation. Not only is it the richest private philanthropic organisation in the world, with an endowment of up to $50 billion — it is also probably the most successful. The Foundation has poured billions of dollars into eradicating diseases such as HIV/AIDS, malaria and tuberculosis. It has spent similarly vast sums on vaccination programmes in developing countries, helping to eradicate polio and many tropical diseases. Its development and educational programmes are less spectacular but on a similarly gargantuan scale.
Not everything that the Gates Foundation does is universally popular — its promotion of contraception has met with religious resistance, for example. Conspiracy theories about the Foundation — invariably false — abound on social media. But the balance of achievements is overwhelmingly positive. This is a remarkable case of an entrepreneur devoting his riches to saving the lives of millions and improving the quality of life potentially of billions. The Gates have set an example which will contribute mightily to the American cultural norm which dictates that plutocracy owes a debt to philanthropy.
It is anyone’s guess whether the Gates Foundation will continue on an even keel, now that its founders are going their separate ways. Unfortunately, the history of philanthropy is full of examples of foundations being captured by and run for the benefit of their staff, especially after the vision of the founder is lost. Politics, both of the ideological and the office variety, often plays a part in such cases. But Bill Gates is only 65 and as he has taken a step back from running Microsoft, he is likely to devote himself increasingly to charitable work. At 56, Melinda is even younger. In all likelihood these two philanthropists will continue to be the driving force behind their organisation and there is no reason to suppose that their divorce will prevent them both from contributing to their good causes for many more years to come.
Nevertheless, most people — especially those of the same generation — will not be unmoved by the failure of a marriage that seemed to have everything going for it. In the UK, those whose weddings took place in the late 1980s have the unenviable distinction of the highest divorce rate: about 43 per cent, considerably higher than the overall average of 33 per cent. It is especially dispiriting when a marriage fails after lasting thirty years or more.
Yet marriage is still “an honourable estate”, just as it was nearly five centuries ago when the Book of Common Prayer adapted the medieval liturgy to create the marriage service that is still often used today. Society may not honour those who keep their marriages together, but many make a great effort to do it just the same — and are rewarded with a happy old age. Divorce is no longer stigmatised but it is still often a messy, expensive and traumatic experience. The best thing that the Gates family can do now is to show that dividing the assets need not divide the loyalties of family and friends. Though we speak of an “amicable” divorce, no break-up of a long partnership is without pain. Yet divorced couples can and often do remain close friends. What is at stake is not, ultimately, a question of shared possessions — even when these are measured in tens of billions — but of shared lives and memories, of looking after the last generation and nurturing the next. Not judgement but compassion is in order when a marriage ends. All that laughter and tears still counts for something, even if it does not endure till death us do part.
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